Getting our sleep back.
After what's easily become an entire year of not sleeping through the night (given that it's nearly impossible to sleep soundly during those final months of pregnancy), I decided it was time to implement the dreaded "cry it out" sleep training method. I've tip toed around this topic for weeks (and weeks) now, hoping that maybe, just maybe, a miracle would occur and Ethan would stop waking so frequently during the night. But, as I secretly already knew, little dude enjoys the luxury of an all-night snack bar, and the comfort of Mommy's arms. We tried sending Daddy in to rock and soothe him back into a peaceful sleep, but discovered it only enraged this tiny, half-sleeping child, making things much, much worse.
At Ethan's 9 month appointment, I was asked by both the nurse and the doctor if my son was sleeping through the night. When I gave a reluctant shake of my head in response both times (while also thinking, can't you tell I'm not getting any sleep?), I was actually a little surprised to see the expressions of disapproval on their faces. The doctor later explained that, nutritionally, Ethan does not need to eat throughout the night. She also expressed how important it is for both he and I to be getting plenty of uninterrupted rest. Then, as if in slow motion, I watched her mouth the three words I've been avoiding... Cry. It. Out.
Part of me wanted to list the reasons why I wasn't sure this was best for my child... but I didn't have any. Part of me wanted to insist that it wasn't so bad, and would very likely improve any night now... but that would have been a lie. Instead, I listed my concerns and asked questions, gaining lots of useful information and support in the process. I looked at my smiling boy, wondering how awful our weekend was going to be.
I announced to my husband that Saturday night was to be Night One (the doctor told me to give it a good week). I nursed my baby to sleep at 8pm, and when he woke at 12:30am, we let him cry. He cried for two solid, painful hours. Sean went in 3 times to lay him back down (since he was sitting up), rub his back, and give him his pacifier. When he woke at 5am, I did nurse him, then went back to bed until my kids woke up at 8:15!
Last night was Night Two. After putting Ethan to bed, he woke only once at 2am. He didn't even cry, but whined for about two minutes. Sean got up and gave him his pacifier, then he slept soundly until almost 5am again! So, with Sean's help, I didn't have to get up at ALL in the middle of the night! I should note that I actually really enjoy the early morning feeding. By that time, my body kind of needs to feed him, plus I love that quiet time with my drowsy boy. :) I'm feeling rested and hopeful today. Maybe we are on our way to cutting out the midnight wakings and feedings. Maybe, just maybe, we are on our way to getting our sleep back.
At Ethan's 9 month appointment, I was asked by both the nurse and the doctor if my son was sleeping through the night. When I gave a reluctant shake of my head in response both times (while also thinking, can't you tell I'm not getting any sleep?), I was actually a little surprised to see the expressions of disapproval on their faces. The doctor later explained that, nutritionally, Ethan does not need to eat throughout the night. She also expressed how important it is for both he and I to be getting plenty of uninterrupted rest. Then, as if in slow motion, I watched her mouth the three words I've been avoiding... Cry. It. Out.
Part of me wanted to list the reasons why I wasn't sure this was best for my child... but I didn't have any. Part of me wanted to insist that it wasn't so bad, and would very likely improve any night now... but that would have been a lie. Instead, I listed my concerns and asked questions, gaining lots of useful information and support in the process. I looked at my smiling boy, wondering how awful our weekend was going to be.
I announced to my husband that Saturday night was to be Night One (the doctor told me to give it a good week). I nursed my baby to sleep at 8pm, and when he woke at 12:30am, we let him cry. He cried for two solid, painful hours. Sean went in 3 times to lay him back down (since he was sitting up), rub his back, and give him his pacifier. When he woke at 5am, I did nurse him, then went back to bed until my kids woke up at 8:15!
I adore these chunky thighs. :)
Last night was Night Two. After putting Ethan to bed, he woke only once at 2am. He didn't even cry, but whined for about two minutes. Sean got up and gave him his pacifier, then he slept soundly until almost 5am again! So, with Sean's help, I didn't have to get up at ALL in the middle of the night! I should note that I actually really enjoy the early morning feeding. By that time, my body kind of needs to feed him, plus I love that quiet time with my drowsy boy. :) I'm feeling rested and hopeful today. Maybe we are on our way to cutting out the midnight wakings and feedings. Maybe, just maybe, we are on our way to getting our sleep back.
I'm so proud of you for taking this difficult step to let him cry it out. I hope that night #3 goes even better, or at least the same as night #2 went! That's a huge improvement in just one night, so I am hopeful!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard letting things go, especially things that make us realize how swiftly our children are growing, and things that we treasure...those few peaceful moments with them, holding them. But unfortunately, I agree with the doctor, he's old enough to start figuring out on his own how to sleep through the night, and doesn't need to be eating that constantly. It's a difficult thing to let go...
I'm here for you!
So funny, Saturday was our "first night" (again - as in, round 2, since I gave in during round 1) of crying it out. When I heard him fussing at 1am, I checked in on him, saw he was fine, then turned off the monitor til 5:30am. He woke to eat at 6:45 (like you, I don't mind the early morning feeding - it's just that middle of the night one I dread); he woke at 5:15am last night, but didn't wake other than that. I'm with you - progress!
ReplyDeleteOh, and our pediatrician said that at this age "sleeping through the night" for a baby is still considered 8-10 hours, so if they have to eat at that point, it's ok. That make me feel a little better, too :)
I re-read this post. I admire you for making it the 2 hours! Ky is pretty good, but regresses when he's sick. It's so much easier to bring him into my bed and let him eat than to hear him cry. I feel like it's extra time that I get to spend with him. I'm sure if I had two we'd be more strict, but with just Ky we have not been too strict.
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