Get yourself together.
What is one of the most significant lessons you've learned during your years as a mother?
Let's pretend for a moment that someone actually asked me the above question. No one has, but it's one that I've thought about a lot lately. Becoming a parent changes you, and your life, in such a profound way, there are bound to be countless "lessons" that you learn as you feel your way along such a new, unknown path. These lessons can be as simple as learning that you should never leave the house without a change of clothes for your newborn, or as complex as realizing that, against your natural instincts (which pull you to sacrifice yourself for you child), you truly have to make caring for yourself a priority.
I'm currently learning to focus on the latter. I have to. After 4+ years of motherhood, I am finally starting to see that taking steps to care for myself actually has less to do with me, and much more to do with the well-being of my family. It would be selfish for me not to make changes where changes are needed, or to work toward a balanced, healthy me, if my lack of balance is having a negative affect on the most important roles in my life; that of mother and wife.
If you aren't taking good care of yourself, it's going to be extremely difficult for you to take care of someone else, especially a someone else who depends on you for everything, all day, every day. I'm talking about physical, emotional, and mental health; you have to get yourself together.
I'm getting myself together. During this process, I've discovered there are things that are necessary to add to my routine, such as healthier eating and participation in classes at the gym (providing both exercise and a mental break). There are also things that I need to avoid in order to maintain a clear mind and anxiety-free existence. I don't have the time or energy for negativity and "drama". I am focusing on surrounding myself with positive people and happy things. This has meant I've been watching less television and spent less time on my computer wasting time (Facebook) and more time doing something meaningful (blogging). I also refuse to allow negative people to interfere with my happiness.
And my title? My mother actually said those words to me once, "you've got to get yourself together", on a particularly difficult day. At the time, I was somewhat offended that she was insinuating I was coming apart, but now I realize that I was... and it's okay, because being a mother means there are going to be hard days. You are guaranteed moments of worry and frustration. You'll lose your cool, then be ridden with mommy guilt. You may even get so mad, or feel so exhausted, that you just want to cry. And you might, and that's okay, too. For me, my "coming apart" meant a tearful face to face chat with my doctor. It meant acknowledging that I've pushed myself to the side for far too long. It meant accepting the challenge of asking myself what I need and making it happen. As a result, I feel good. I feel better than good, I feel great. And when I'm feeling great, it's much easier to be the woman I want to be in all aspects of my life.
I feel like I have a grip on things. I feel like I'm using my energy in the right ways, and staying focused on all that is good in my world.
Thanks, Mom. You have been the key to unlocking a better me. I love you.
Let's pretend for a moment that someone actually asked me the above question. No one has, but it's one that I've thought about a lot lately. Becoming a parent changes you, and your life, in such a profound way, there are bound to be countless "lessons" that you learn as you feel your way along such a new, unknown path. These lessons can be as simple as learning that you should never leave the house without a change of clothes for your newborn, or as complex as realizing that, against your natural instincts (which pull you to sacrifice yourself for you child), you truly have to make caring for yourself a priority.
I'm currently learning to focus on the latter. I have to. After 4+ years of motherhood, I am finally starting to see that taking steps to care for myself actually has less to do with me, and much more to do with the well-being of my family. It would be selfish for me not to make changes where changes are needed, or to work toward a balanced, healthy me, if my lack of balance is having a negative affect on the most important roles in my life; that of mother and wife.
If you aren't taking good care of yourself, it's going to be extremely difficult for you to take care of someone else, especially a someone else who depends on you for everything, all day, every day. I'm talking about physical, emotional, and mental health; you have to get yourself together.
I'm getting myself together. During this process, I've discovered there are things that are necessary to add to my routine, such as healthier eating and participation in classes at the gym (providing both exercise and a mental break). There are also things that I need to avoid in order to maintain a clear mind and anxiety-free existence. I don't have the time or energy for negativity and "drama". I am focusing on surrounding myself with positive people and happy things. This has meant I've been watching less television and spent less time on my computer wasting time (Facebook) and more time doing something meaningful (blogging). I also refuse to allow negative people to interfere with my happiness.
And my title? My mother actually said those words to me once, "you've got to get yourself together", on a particularly difficult day. At the time, I was somewhat offended that she was insinuating I was coming apart, but now I realize that I was... and it's okay, because being a mother means there are going to be hard days. You are guaranteed moments of worry and frustration. You'll lose your cool, then be ridden with mommy guilt. You may even get so mad, or feel so exhausted, that you just want to cry. And you might, and that's okay, too. For me, my "coming apart" meant a tearful face to face chat with my doctor. It meant acknowledging that I've pushed myself to the side for far too long. It meant accepting the challenge of asking myself what I need and making it happen. As a result, I feel good. I feel better than good, I feel great. And when I'm feeling great, it's much easier to be the woman I want to be in all aspects of my life.
I feel like I have a grip on things. I feel like I'm using my energy in the right ways, and staying focused on all that is good in my world.
Thanks, Mom. You have been the key to unlocking a better me. I love you.
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